new

blog thing....

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dynex

I haven't updated in a while.

But I guess mostly because everyone that reads this already knows what's going on anyway.

So I'm on leave right now.

Nothing too exciting.

I'm just kicking it at home playing GTA IV.

Yeah, I brought my tv and PS3 back home just so I could play.

Y que?!

Man, I wish things weren't so confusing.

There are so many gray areas.

I should've gotten stationed overseas or back in the east coast.

I came back and shit exploded in my face.

Yeah, shit that I caused but would've never happened if I was gone.

Well...I'll have a new change of pace anyway.

17 months in a shithole should be interesting.

I'm not sad, angry, disappointed or any of those upsetting emotions.

I'm actually just feeling...nothing.

It's weird because you'd think that it'd be depressing but it actually isn't.

But it also isn't happy either.

Anyway, see you guys soon. I guess.

Diesel

Yesterday after the mandatory Christmas party, I went to the mall with Bies, Tegan and Brandyn.
They got 2 Husky puppies!
They're cute as fuck.
One boy and one girl.
They're gonna breed 'em once they're old enough to do that kind of stuff.

Anyway, work is boring and I really need to go on leave.
Whateeevvvvsssss...
I've been really sleepy for the last 2 days and I really don't know what it is.
But right now I'm sleepy and hyper and that's never good.

Later on I'm gonna go see 2012.
I think that's what the movie is called.
I have no real interest to watch it but hey, I'm not paying for it.
But I do have to drive. Lame.

I want to play GTA IV.

Oh what?

So basically, you know what this is about.

I love your flirting ways. I swear, I do it too.

But it's different when you take it a step further.

I'm hurting.

And you might say you are.

I believe you.

You should have thought about it.

I know that you knew the repercussions.

You're smart.

Yet you're the dumbest person I know.

Fuck. I still love you.

I'm the dumbest person I know.

You should've said no,
You should've gone home,
You should have thought twice before you let it all go.

ice cream

Chris and I had an argument today.

Mint and chocolate should never mix.

What a crazy lad.

Anyway, where are my "real friends"?

I'm an insensitive, unsympathetic bastard.

But since I'm a girl...I guess that just makes me a bitch.

Fuck it. 

fat twat

It's been bothering me for a while.

No one brings it up.

But fuck it, right? 

Another thing thats bothering me...

I don't want to get kicked off.

damn. 

kevin

There was that party last night. 

And there was some talking. 

And I'm not sure if I forgive you.

I don't know.

It's hard.

I know I want to.

But I feel like I'd be stupid if I did. 

Because this would be the millionth time that I did.

What makes me think that you wont do it again?

I don't know...

I'm glad that we talked. 

But now I'm confused. 

All I know is that it'll take time.

I don't know how long. 

Because I don't even really know what I'm talking about.

Now I'm just rambling. 

Argh...

Oh, and on a completely different note:

way to tell me that you don't have your phone.

so now I'm all retarded. =/

Kill bodies,

eat babies.

anyway...so yeah.
blogging.

I have a paper to write.
How lame is that?
I know I'm not in college.
The people in Lioness were told to write an autobiography of themselves by our Sgt.
I wrote mine.
Sure, I was pretty vague in mine but I didn't feel like he needed to know much about me.
What did he want to know about me?
Mainly...Why I joined the Corps and why I decided to do Lioness.
I said "I joined the Marine Corps because I wanted to do something more with my life.
I joined the Lioness program because I wanted to get out of the office."
Apparently, I'm supposed to have some heart-felt reason on why.
I was telling the truth though.
So I guess I'm just going to have to lie.

Next weekend = Vegas.
...and Marine Corps Ball.
Pretty excited.

I'm going to have brunch with my dear sister in an hour.
I'm excited for that too.

girl you know i-i-iiiiiii

BIRTHDAY TODAY!

Yeah, best day of my effing life.

I woke up.

Went to the gym.

PT.

Shower.

Then went to work.

Got there.

Lcpl Marlowe made me birffdai cookies =]

and everyone signed a card for me.

Fuckin' sweet.

Then Ssgt. Guevera let me have the day off.

How legit, right?

Went back to my room.

Chilled with Bies.

Dropped her back off cuz she had to go back to the field [lame..=/]

Drove to L.A.

Chillin' with Kels.

We're gonna rent Step Brothers.

I fucking love that movie and I miss Peterswole.

Ohhh and yesterday was fucking awesome too.

My roommate will always be cooler than yours.

...if you guys ever get any...

move out.

yeah.

it's cool as fuck.

number 3

I had Orochon Ramen today.

So delicious. I love it. 

Especially since NC doesn't want to have Japanese foodz. 

Went with Kelsey, James and Carmina

I went to Disneyland with James [Kimberley...not my cousin] this weekend.

It was really fun and she slept over from Friday night till Sunday.

29 Palms is a long drive but it's definitely worth it. 

Hopefully we can kick it again this weekend or something before she leaves to NC. 

Tomorrow, I don't really have any plans. 

I'm just chillin'.

Camp Pendelton

That's my duty station!!

In case you don't know where that is..It's in SAN DIEGO!

Yo, I'm so excited to go back to Cali.

Some of my Marine Corps homies are coming to the west side too so it's chill.

Imma be able to kick it every weekend and stuff. 

I graduate in exactly one week.

So I might be home in exactly one week or a week and a day.

Hopefully I can afford a car.

That would be great.

I mean, I love my van but driving from San Diego to the valley in a van...?

Don't think so. 

gadabout

96 is officially here.

Finally.

WOOOO!!!

I don't even know what I'm really going to do but whatever. 

Fawk it, right?

Just gonna go with the flow.

Oh, right but it's a little depressing.

You know...since I guess someone is getting married tomorrow. 

But fawk that too! 

I'm not gonna let that stop my fun =]

interjection

I'm really trying to be happy for you.

I mean, I don't know...

It's a stupid decision. 

But fuck it. 

I know I'm being biased because I wanted a chance.

And I completely lost it. 

Oh well...

..................................................................

I'm also about to kick someone ass.

And if they get their ass kicked by me, that's really sad. 

Cuz everyone here at LOS knows I'm a weak mofo. 

They also need to stop telling people the wrong story.

Acting like they're the victim.

If she was, then she wouldn't be feeling guilty and paying back.

That just makes no sense. 

Because I know Petersen and I are one of the nicest people here. 

We don't fuck people over. 

Anyway, test tomorrow. 

It's about confusing stuff but hopefully I'll get a higher score than the people who have higher GPAs than I do. 

pushover

Lot's of shit happened since that last post.

Identity theft. Got $600 stolen from me.

Had a total of $0.33 in my account afterwards.

I'm a pushover.

I trust people that walk all over me.

Not anymore.

There's lots more to it but whatever.

I don't like thinking about it.

I'm also 5th place in my class.

It kind of pisses me off because I know that I'm smart.

I really need to get 100% in the next 3 tests.

Or if I don't...I need to at least get it to 3rd in class.

My mom sent me a package of mango juice and dried mangos.

Yummmmm....

Oh, and I'm in a band.

Well...not right now for obvious reasons.

But my friend here and I plan to make one once we get out of the Corps.

I was the ukulele player but he wants me to drum.

I want to drum too.

So there. 

I also have Palliative Pain Syndrome in both my knees.

Awesome...but not really.

I'm on light duty for 2 weeks.

And after that I have to get them checked again.

Bllaaahhhhhhhhhh.

Btw, maybe you guys should text me sometimes.

Like..after 3pm [Cali time] should be fine.

Idk. That's only if you guys want. 

soggy

I pick up school today.

YAY! 

Finally. I am so done with forming.

Anyway, boots and utes run today.

Thought I was going to die but didn't.

I fell out though.

Don't care. 

I think my left knee is sprained too.

Working party today sucked.

Went to a really far away building while it was raining.

Told to go to a different building to load 2 filing cabinets.

Afterwards, we were told to walk back to the first building we went to.

It was fucking pouring. 

We all got drenched completely. 

Then we had to unload all this crap.

Then arrange all this crap.

Whilst being wet and soggy.

The whole staff noticed that I was freezing.

I guess cuz I just kinda stood there frozen.

A Staff Sergeant gave me a sweater =3

So I warmed up a bit but then we had to go.

I was still really wet. 

Now I'm in my room.

Waiting for Peterson to get out of the shower.

Waiting for my camis to dry.

Waiting for it to be 14:30.

Waiting to go to alterations. 

Some shit like that. 

Nerd

I just finished reading Apathy. 

It's a good book. 

I don't think it affected me that much only because I already don't give a fuck. 

I'm going to start reading Choke. 

I've been narrating in my head again.

A feeling that I've missed so much. 

I haven't done so since I joined the Corps. 

Now I don't feel like a mindless retard. 

My roomies call me a nerd. 

Instead of having my phone or water in my cargo pocket, I carry around a book.

Kind of like bootcamp, where I'd carry a dictionary or thesaurus. 

I don't care.

I like it. 

It makes me feel smarter than most of the people here. 

Tonight was the first night that I actually just sat/lay in bed and read. 

Usually, I sneak reading while on a work party. 

I missed it. 

I forgot how good it feels to not do anything and just read.

I'm always going places and trying to find things to do.

So now I'm going to continue my read-a-thon. 

And possiby eat more Cup O Noodles =]

oorah forming!

I have a week of forming left before I pick up for school.

Thank God. Seriously, forming is bullshit. 

Anyway, nothing much has happened.

Still going on work parties and people are still fucking up. 

Whatev's.

I also always pay for people to do my firewatch.

I never want to do firewatch here again. 

Hmm...I feel like I should type more but I don't know what.

I've been reading Apathy and I'm almost finished.

Afterwards, I'm going to read Choke.

And then something else that I can't remember the title of it right now. 

Wow...my life feels so uninteresting right now.

I probably shouldn't blog when I'm not that awake. 

MOS school

I haven't picked up yet but I have my room.
Got a pretty cool roomie.
She was in the same platoon as me in bootcamp.

Anyway, MCT sucked.
I really thought that I was going to die everyday.
Carrying a 50 pound pack and 9 pound rifle everywhere is tiring.
Hiking range to range when its 90+ degrees outside.
With cami sleeves rolled down.
Then our 6 mile hike and 10 mile hike with 75 pound packs.
Yup...still have our rifle too.
Seriously, never tell me that you're tired.
You don't even know what tired really feels like.
My feet are all fucked up and nasty too. eww.

I got to fire some pretty awesome weapons though.
I threw a grenade too.

I'm waiting on some Chinese takeout to come now.
This is kinda wierd.
You know, actually being free with no one telling me what to do.
Well...somewhat.
Cuz I still gotta be in formations and crap.


Also...FIREWATCH SUCKS!

jamaica

im pretty not really here rightnow and like,

i dunno.

what? 

uh...well, i toldmy parents not to comehome and nowtheyre here.

what the fudgesticks?

it's notcool at all.

also, sorry if i drunk called/textedyou.

i'm yeah.

i dunno.

dude.

tonight is pretty wierd.

dunno what to think aboutsit.

whats going on? i'm not messedup

Fattie

I feel like I'm getting fatter by the second. 

All I do is eat with barely any PT. 

MCT is going to kick my ass for sure.

Other than that, this leave is great! 

Been spending it with fam and friends.

We get deliriously tired and stuff but it's okay.

That's what makes things more exciting. 

Tomorrow = kickback!

PFC Amor

I'm back from Boot Camp.

I'm not sure what to type...

but it is wierd using a computer again. 

Well, I'm having some sort of party thing with famz and friends later. 

It'll be around 04:00. 

If you want to come, feel free to do so. 

Uh, just text. 

Feels good to be home =]

BOOTCAMP.

In a few hours I will be on my way to M.E.P.S.

I will have my physical and be processed to leave. 

03.10.09

Early in the morning I will get on a plane to bootcamp.

I will get to South Carolina, Parris Island approximately during the afternoon or at night.

There begins my journey from civilian to Marine. 

It will also be Tiff's 18th birthday.

Happy Birthday Tiff!!! =] 

This isn't goodbye. This is see you later. 

rakata

Today was chill. 

Hung out with Marie and Kelsey.

Ate at Taco Bell and then picked up the ukulele at my house. 

Then we went to Pizza Hut.

Nancy came to work early.

After doing her hw I taught her how to skate. 

She got pretty good. =]

She'll probably be pro when I get back. 

Crys also did the frog freeze for a long time. 

It was pretty insane.

She has mad muscles. 

Anyway, today it hit me that I'm leaving. 

So I'm pretty sad but still kinda happy. 

I'm really going to miss a lot of people.

4 days. 

Oye Mi Canto

Today was my last drumline thing.

It was fun. I made the most of it. 

Before that I hung out with Crys, Kels, Marie, Eddie, Amber and Tiff.

We ate at L.A. buffet and had major jam sessions at Guitar Center.

Acoustic room = much loveeee. 

Went to my house and chilled. 

Tiff dropped off Marie and met up with us later.

Then we went to drumline and Amber did her thing. 

Seems like a few people won't be able to make Friday.

It's okay. 

I'm going to have as much fun in these few days I have left. 

5 days to be exact. 

And seriously guys, Reggaeton isn't bad. =]

Ahora Es

I'm not a bad person for ignoring one certain thing. 

I'm not a bad person for not wanting to fix it. 

How do you fix something that was already broken in the first place? 

I'm tired of pretending we had a real friendship. 

Because seriously, it wasn't.

Maybe in the beginning and a few other moments. 

It's not worth it anymore.

And seriously, that person isn't even worth the effort anymore. 

Because it was ALWAYS me fixing everything. 

I've never had that person come up to me to try to fix anything. 

Seriously, I've been hurt more than once and even then i fixed it. 

Not this time. 

I'm fucking tired of this shit...

On a more different note,

I'm really into Reggaeton. 

Seriously. It's good.

Well, in my opinion. 

It'd be even better if I could understand more than a few words of what they're saying. 

Llegaron Los Lideres!

El Duo Dinamico!

Victor El Nazi....

Nesty!

Apodado Por El Pueblo Como...

Los Extraterrestres! 

soon...

In exactly one week, the only way to contact me will be through letters. 

Crazy how time went by so fast. 

I wish my van was functioning. 

Yesterday, I drove my dad's Tercel.

Manual transmission > Automatic transmission.

I also drove Kuya Nick's Mustang. 

Saturday was the Marine's Day thing.

I don't even know what it's really called.

Anyway, we saw Simi Valley High School band [they aren't that great...], James Monroe's ROTC [sucked. messsed up so much], Granada Hills band [they're really good], Marines band [EPIC], Marines Silent Drill Platoon [MEGA EPIC]. 

We were to travel in groups of two during our free time. 

I was going to go by myself and hope I didn't get noticed but while I was aimlessly walking, someone else didn't have a buddy. We got to talking and now I've made a new friend. =] 

Also, someone has broken my trust.

They should understand that I'm not a bad person because I didn't tell. 

I had everything under control.

I was looking out for both parties. 

water

I am trying to drink a gallon of water. I feel like I'm going to drown. 

I'm going to have to take mad pee's later. 

I'm getting so full off of water.

Lame. 

12 moar days. 

Hang out wiff me =]

tired.

So it turns out that today is my practice IST and my official one is still Saturday.

I was freaking out over nothing last night but that means I still have something to freak out over. 

Anyway, these are the results: 

Run time: 15:17

Crunches: 54

Hang time: 17 seconds. 

I just need to work on my run. Minus 18 seconds and I'm in. 

Hopefully, I'll be able to do that by Saturday morning. 

Crap, I'm tired. 

tl;dr

This weekend was really fun. And you know...that's an extreme understatement. 

Saturday: 

The cake we made at Pizza Hut didn't turn out as well as expected but it was still good and it was Jaspreet's first cake that she ever baked. =] I love how retarded we are but how everyone participated. All good fun. Crys slept over afterwards. 

The guitar hero tournament before that however, was extremely lame. But I wasn't even in the hall where it was at over half the time and I was hanging out with really chill people. Took pics of my Lamborghini, went down slides, stayed at the top of jungle gyms, sang songs from Mulan while swinging and almost dying.  

Sunday: 

Crys and I woke up and went to church running on 4.5 hours of sleep. Afterwards, we went back to my house to get some clothes for the gym then we picked up Allie. Worked out for a bit. Went back to my house to rest up and have Crys shower before work. When Crys left I knocked out. Allie watched Bratz while I slept. Once I woke up, Allie was still watching Bratz so I decided to shower. Bratz finished and I dropped off Allie at home. Went to Pizza Hut and folded a lot of boxes. It was really busy so I didn't want to get in anyones way. Jerome was ready to get picked up so I got him from his friends house and drove back to Pizza Hut. Nancy tells me that she broke the oven and to look at it. She accidentally melted a really thick piece of plastic on it. Jerome and I decide that were going to buy stuff from Ralphs and try to melt it off. First, we buy one of those long lighter things figuring we could slowly melt it off. That didn't work because it didn't generate enough heat. Crys came up with the idea of buying charcoal and basically using it like a grill. So back to Ralphs! Bought charcoal, lighter fluid, a new lighter and wood chips [just in case..?]. We basically made a fire in the back heating up the charcoal. So after it heated, instead of using it like a grill, we put pieces of charcoal in one place and melted the plastic so that we were able to pick it out. It's really difficult to explain. Well after taking out 1/4th  of the damn thing [it was really thick so that's actually A LOT] the fumes were starting to give us headaches so we decided we did what we could. Hopefully Crys and Nancy don't get in trouble...Anyway, we went to my house so I could get clothes and so we could only take one car to Jerome's where he could get clothes. We slept over at Crys'. 

Monday: 

We all woke up and were lying in bed for 2 hours wondering what we should do. Finally, we got up and decided to eat. Ate at Sushi and Teriyaki! Went to Jerome's and Crys and I were reading. She was doing homework and I was just reading for fun. Jerome was filling out FAFSA stuff. Crys and I eventually got sleepy and Jerome got us pillows and blankets. We overslept. After realizing that and Marie texting me...we went to pick her up. Then we went to the movies and watched "He's Just Not That Into You." I don't give a shit about what anyone says, I liked that movie. It was slow in some parts and other parts it was dumb. But I enjoyed it anyway. After that we went to meet up my Kuya Nick and Ate Isa at Coffee Bean. We arrived there first so Marie got boba from Boba City and Crys got yogurt at some yogurt place. They called us once they were there so we walked back to Coffee Bean. Kuya Nick was hungry so we went to Macaroni Grill. Crys, Marie, Jerome and I were really poor so Crys and Jerome shared and Marie and I shared. It was really nice of Kuya Nick or Ate Isa [whoever paid] to pay for us. After intensely drawing on the paper tablecloth we had intense conversations. We realized that it was closing and we should move to a different venue. We went to Borders so that Ate Isa and Kuya Nick could get some white chocolate thing and got me hot chocolate. Yum. After Jerome, Crys and Ate Isa ditched Kuya Nick, Marie and I we met up again and had Crys drop off Marie since she had to be home and Crys had to study. Kuya Nick, Ate Isa, Jerome and I went to a park in Porter Ranch and just talked for a while. It was fun. Drawing penis' on Kuya Nick's window. Went to Jerome's so that Ate Isa and I could pee and drop him off. Talked for a bit over there and gave Brownie attention. Left and then I got home.

Right now:

I'm sitting listening to music, waiting for Crys to get out of class and realizing how super super close my ship date is. I'm also really happy that I've been maximizing the time with my friends while I'm still here before I leave. I'm going to miss all of them. 

Indeed.

It's a lot to take in for one night. 

I'm still thinking and wish I could stop. 

Don't worry about it though. 

Anyway, the past week has been quite eventful.

Since Saturday I have: 

-been in a watergun fight at Pizza Hut. 

-had a field trip to Camp Pendelton [exciting stuff!]

-my dad's 60th birthday

-swam in a pool wearing sweats 

-done 94 crunches

-hung out with Crys and Jerome

-had fun at drumline [haha the plan worked swimmingly...]

-memorized #01-06 of the general orders

-hung out with Marie

-hung out and discussed quite a bit with Kelsey

...Y'know, listing it out like that makes it seem like I didn't do much but it seems like I did. Especially since I had a lot of fun doing those things. Except maybe for swimming in a pool with sweats. It was fun but it got really tiring after a while. 

I'm leaving in 4 weeks and 2 days. Pretty surreal. I hate that word. 

Gambol

means frolic. 

Today was pretty alright. I hung out with my cousins and we played board games. 

That's pretty much it. Cranium was a little frustrating because of the red cards. It took forever to get out of that space. 

Oh, and I talked to Kelsey today. I'm actually really glad. I missed her and I'm really happy we're talking again without it being all awkward or tense. 

So I just needed to clarify something. I do have self-confidence. I love me =] Not in the whole narcissistic way someone would love themselves but in the completely healthy way someone should love themselves. I mean, I suppose that I have off days where I don't believe in myself but who doesn't? Other than that, I'm fine. 

I start going to the gym again tomorrow. I'm pretty excited. I can't believe I actually semi-enjoy going now. I guess it's because I'm improving and I'm almost leaving to bootcamp. I'm feeling a little anxious and nervous but it's okay. 

blegghh

You know when something seems like a good idea at first, and then turns up like shit later on?

That's pretty much how my night went. Great. 

You know, I really wish you could buy confidence. That would be great. And you know what? It really isn't my fault that I don't have that much of it. 

Although, this morning I felt great. Training sucked but I got good comments from my Staff Sergeant and the Sergeant conducting the training. So yeah. I've improved. Which is good so I can leave this damn place on schedule. 

Anyway...I have nothing much left to say. Feelings are a waste of time at this point. I really should focus on my training. Fuck everything else right now. 

alskdfj;

Today was training with the Marines. It was pretty fucking lame because my knee injury didn't allow me to really do anything. Tomorrow, I'm going to the hospital to go check it out. I hope that it's nothing serious. 

I really want to get out of here. I want to go to bootcamp. I guess I just need to figure things out. 

IST

My run time is definitely improving from the last time I went. 

I used to run 1 1/2 mile in 24 minutes or so. Now I'm down to 15:23. Woo! 

I just need to take the 23 seconds off to make the IST minimum. 

Flexed arm hang minimum is 12 seconds and last time I did 9 seconds. Now I'm up to 14.

Minimum for crunches is 44. I'm actually not going to state how many of those I did because I'm quite ashamed of that. I usually do a lot better at home and I did horribly today. Although, I did do a lot better than the last time they saw me. 

I'm really happy and satisfied right now. If I keep this up maybe I can do PFT at close to 100% by the time I have to go to bootcamp. 

So I guess all this working out is paying off. I'm glad. =]

Also, I was able to skate home without dying like I was last time. Freakin' awesome. 

My knee hurts like a bitch though and stupid wind kept throwing dust in my eyes. 

Anyway, I should go shower now because I'm super stinky. All that sweat and stuff from IST. 

DBZ

I've been watching Dragon Ball Z ever since Eddie sent me this link to a website with awesome shows from the '90s. 

Other than that, I've been training all day to get my mind off of things. I haven't eaten anything but I'm not hungry. I know I should or this training thing will be useless. 

Anyway, the start of this year is pretty good. I mean, it already has it's ups and downs but it's fun. Like a rollercoaster. I just hope I can stay this positive for the rest of the year.